Are you on Instagram? If so, perhaps your SO also is. With the introduction of direct messages, Instagram has become more than a platform for sharing photos and stories; it’s a place to chat with friends and family. 

Is it convenient? Absolutely. But, on the flip side, strangers can also connect with us anytime if the profile is open. The recent statistics just proves it. 29% of people cheat on their partners using social media platforms. 

With these numbers in mind, many people now ask how they can see who their spouse is messaging on Instagram.

The good news is that there are ways to find out who your partner is talking with on Instagram without them knowing.

Why Is Instagram Used For Cheating?

Infidelity on Instagram takes various forms, including emotional and even physical cheating. Some people send flirtatious messages and never meet in person, while others take the relationship to a physical level. They make late-night video calls and exchange explicit photos to spice up their conversations and get intimate. Here 3 key reasons why cheaters pick Instagram:

  1. Instagram makes it easy to fall for a stranger. If the relationship doesn’t fulfill the person’s needs, the cheater can quickly start fresh with another person.
  2. The platform offers features like self-destructing messages and secret chats, so cheaters can keep their affairs a secret for a long time.
  3. Sometimes, a partner might even make a fake account to hide their cheating conversations.

Did you know? National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago found that more than 20% of marriages experience some form of infidelity. The study revealed that 25% of men admitted to having an affair in their lifetime, while 15% of women said they had been unfaithful at least once. 

Whatever form cheating takes on Instagram, physical or emotional, it often happens even if you’re in a trusting relationship and have access to your partner’s account. Because of advanced privacy settings, you might not know whether your partner is communicating with someone behind your back.

How To See Who My Wife Is Messaging On Instagram?

The sneaking suspicion that you’ve been cheated is extremely painful. By now, you might feel paralyzed with fear and worry, but the truth is, you need to take action for the sake of your relationship and mental well-being. So here’s your plan:

  1. Review their Instagram account for suspicious activity. Look for any new followers, direct messages, flirtatious comments, or posts with people you don’t know.
  2. Pay attention to the time and date of any posts or comments. Unusual activity at late night or early mornings can be a red flag.
  3. Go through the accounts of your partner’s followers, especially those they frequently interact with. You might come across cheating evidence.

Method #1: Using Third-Party Monitoring Apps

If you accuse your partner of cheating on Instagram just on a hunch, they might deny it or brush the conversation off. Thus, it’s better to have strong evidence to back up your claims. 

How to get it? Third-party monitoring tools are your best bet. They’re designed for tracking social media accounts and can record any activity, including conversations with other users and shared images. Best of all, these tools monitor online activity in real time, so you can check what your SO is doing whenever you want.

Top 3 Apps To Spy on Your Wife


mSpy Instagram Tracker

mSpy is the best application for tracking activity on Instagram. It gives you complete control over your partner’s Insta account by tracking direct messages, emails, and posts. It can even determine real-time locations and notify you when your SO is on the move.


spynger instagram

Spynger is another popular tool designed for monitoring Instagram usage. Like mSpy, it lets you monitor your partner’s conversations and shared photos in real time. What makes Spynger unique is follower tracking and analytics. You can check associated contact data if your partner’s followers linked Instagram profiles with phone numbers or email addresses. 



FlexiSpy is a premium application that goes beyond basic monitoring. You can read any conversation types, including secret chats and deleted messages, and even listen to their phone calls. FlexiSPY also has a GPS tracker for real-time monitoring of your partner’s whereabouts.

Method #2:  Using Instagram Insights

If your partner is on your following list, you can keep an eye on their activities using Instagram Insights. This feature lets you see the people they interact with on the platform. For instance, if they leave comments under your partner’s post, you can read them. Insights cover other statistics as well, such as number of likes.

Although this feature doesn’t give you access to private conversations, you can identify any suspicious behavior that could point to cheating. This includes people they have been talking to and content they have been viewing.

Method #3: Looking at Your Partner’s Online Activity

Keeping tabs on your partner’s online activity is one of the most effective methods to spot Instagram cheating. Take your time to analyze their posts, follows, and interactions during the day. If they follow or interact with suspicious accounts that have nothing to do with their work or interests, it could be a cheating red flag.

Additionally, if the number of likes or comments on your SO posts increases rapidly, check the accounts that are interacting with them. You might uncover the identity of a possible secret lover.

Finally, if your partner frequently texts with somebody on Instagram, something is definitely off. This is especially true when they create password-protected secret chats.

Final Thoughts

Uncovering cheating on Instagram isn’t a simple task, but you can find out the truth by paying close attention to their online activity. Check what they post, how often they use Instagram, and who interacts with them. If you notice somebody they’re communicating with more than usual, use mSpy to check their direct messages. This way, you will get solid evidence of their online affair.

We understand that the mere thought of something like this can be painful, but your proactive approach is the key to solving this problem. By keeping tabs on your partner’s online activity, you can protect your relationship from a potential disaster. If there’s a shadow of suspicion, take some time to investigate further before jumping to conclusions. It could just save your relationship!

By Zain Hilton

Hi, I'm Zain Hilton and I'm an experienced author and relationship expert known for my insightful advice and innovative approach to the dynamics of modern dating. Passionate about helping people navigate the complexities of love and relationships, I have established myself as an authoritative relationship expert.

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